OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize