bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
