What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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