Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
