Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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