You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
