He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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