And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
