No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
