So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
