just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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