I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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