I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize