1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
