I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
