filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ok first of all what the fuck
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
