You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
dude. I can hear the air.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
