What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize