I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
