I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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