OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize