his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
