In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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