i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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