So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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