As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
