dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we should paint friendship bongs
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
