you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
