He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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