and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize