I wanna bring you to show and tell
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
