I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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