I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize