We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
