My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
