Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize