Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
smell my finger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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