Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
