I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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