I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
