It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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