I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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