i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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