i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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