i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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