I'm really into asian looking animals
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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