i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
