the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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