she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
