does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
