Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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