i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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