shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
