Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
