I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
