I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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