Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So here I am, sexting at work.
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