From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize