I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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