it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
