Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish there were birth control emojis
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize